Closer

"The God of Silence beckons me, to journey to my heart where he awaits me."

These are my favorite lines from a Bukas Palad song ive been listening to frequently the past few days.

Somehow, the Valentine's season takes on a different meaning for me this year. While others are planning where they will go on Feb.14 with their partners or their friends, I've already spent my Valentines more than a week before the occasion.

I attended my first ever retreat last weekend. I think every person goes through different stages, different phases in which he or she becomes a better person or at least be closer to who they want to be as a person. This year, I've decided to move one step closer to God. Now, more than ever, "spiritual renewal" has never been more important to me as a personal objective.

But I'm not there yet, I've set myself out for a long journey, a more arduous struggle. It's no easy trying to find God, because usually that means finding yourself first and facing who you really are. Nevertheless, the experience is amazing.

And in the Valentine's season i am making a regular date with my Creator. Love for one's partner, or for one's friend, or for one's own family, workmates, relatives, among others all emanates from love of God and oneself.

Lest I make the wrong impression, I still have to say I'm in no raising-of-the-hands mode. I have never considered myself religious, I don't think I ever will. I'd rather be deeply spiritual. After all we're all creatures given with the gift of the spirit - the kind of state that for me defines human existence and is experienced and shared regardless of religious affiliation, social class or race. Finding one's spirit for me is a task one cannot avoid in life. Whatever bends and forks you encounter, you will always arrive at a part of the road that would ask you who you are, where you are, and what you are doing here.

The God of Silence song reminds me of that. And also the song Pagbabalik. For I think the most comforting thing in life is the fact that I can always go back home, to return to His embrace, that no matter how dirty I've become, once I lay down my cards and surrender, I can still be clean again.

That finding one's spirit also means standing up and fighting for what is right, that love and justice cannot coexist separately, and that selfless love is the greatest thing man can achieve.

So am i closer to that? Hopefully.

Hopefully still we can arrive at the same time.